8 Triggers and Behaviors that Signal the Need for Marriage Counseling

8 Triggers and Behaviors that Signal the Need for Marriage Counseling

8 Triggers and Behaviors that Signal the Need for Marriage Counseling

When people get married, they often believe that they will have a fairy tale ending. Everyone hopes to live happily ever after, but fairy tales don't reveal that it takes work to keep relationships healthy. Unfortunately, partners often do not go into a marriage with the best tools available for managing their challenges. This is where a professional comes in. Dr. Phillips marriage counseling can help you discover new ways of relating with each other within your partnership. Experts offer these triggers and behaviors that signal your relationship may need professional help:

You don't talk.

Most relationship problems are simply communication challenges. Seeing a marriage therapist can help introduce better ways to communicate within the relationship. However, it can be challenging to get things moving in a better direction once your communication has deteriorated.

You talk, but everything is negative.

Negative communication includes everything that leaves one spouse feeling disregarded, shamed, judged, and insecure. These feelings make a romantic partner want to separate themselves from your conversation because it is often not what you say but how you say it. Your conversational tone can also be a form of negative communication. Nonverbal communication and negative communication can quickly escalate to the point of emotional abuse.

You're afraid of talking.

Some couples find that it is terrifying to communicate about specific issues. These issues can include money, annoying habits, and sex that are blown out of proportion. The job of a therapist is to help married couples have clarity on their issues and assist them in understanding what it is they are really talking about.

One spouse withholds affection as punishment.

In many relationships, one partner can get upset over minor things and give their partner the silent treatment or withhold affection. However, when one partner in a relationship begins to take on the role of punisher or parent, the relationship lacks balance.

You see your spouse as an antagonist.

You and your spouse are on a team and should not consider each other adversaries. However, it is definitely time to seek help if your relationship starts to feel like you're no longer on the same side.

Secrets are being kept.

Although every individual has a right to a certain level of privacy, even in a romantic relationship, you're probably in trouble if you are keeping secrets from one another.

You contemplate or engage in an affair.

You likely want something different in your relationship than what you have right now if you have fantasies about an affair. While, in some cases, relationships can survive after one spouse has engaged in an affair, it's always better to seek help before it happens. Your marriage can be saved when both partners are honest and are committed to the therapy process. In addition, both partners may realize that it is healthier to dissolve their relationship at worst.

You are experiencing or perpetrating financial infidelity.

Financial disagreements can be just as hazardous or even more damaging to a partnership than one partner engaging in an affair. If one spouse keeps their partner in the dark about their spending habits or feels the need to control all money-related issues, the other spouse should talk about their family finances. It is not unreasonable to want to understand your budget, bills, debt, and financial accounts better. Professional help for your relationship is in order when your spouse refuses to talk about money.

Professional therapy can help spouses easily discuss their issues and determine the root causes of ongoing relationship troubles. Nearly every marriage has major arguments or sticking points that can persist for months without any hope of resolution. While these challenges can often feel impossible, with the help of a professional therapist, they can be worked through, and spouses can find a solution together. Your relationship has the best chance of improvement when you seek professional help with Dr. Phillips marriage counseling sooner than later, as many couples wait until things are too late.

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Heather Oller

Heather Oller is a licensed Orlando therapist at Orlando Thrive Therapy, Coaching & Counseling who specializes in counseling Orlando couples, individuals, and families who are seeking changes in their lives. She has been a mental health professional for over 17 years and is a practicing Orlando counselor that specializes in conflict resolution for couples. You can contact her for an appointment or call 407-592-8997 for more information.