As the reliable friend and family member that you are, you have noticed how much people rely on you during their times of need. You are the one who dishes out advice, helps financially, fixes problem, is there for everybody whenever they need someone amongst many other things. Sometimes, you felt overwhelmed and exhausted while trying to keep up with all these things. It does not mean you want to stop being the type of person you are; it is just that all of your energy is being spent on others with little or none to spare for yourself. You are looking for a way to say "No" once in a while and not feel guilty about it. You should be able to decide what requests you would like to grant and what requests you should pass up. Creating a balance is the best thing, and we will be looking at four steps you can take to achieve that.
Taking care of yourself starts with not over-committing to certain things. Sometimes, when someone makes a request, your first reaction most times will be to say "Yes" even if what you would like to say is "No." It may be a phone call or text message informing you of an emergency; you need to settle down and think it through before you respond. A counselor in Orlando will give you the necessary pointers that you need to deal with this effectively. For instance, you could start with taking some time to consider every request or take an hour or more to respond to "emergency" messages. After a while, if you still feel you want help and is convenient for you, then you can go ahead.
For every person you say yes to, they start to have expectations. For this reason, you should only say yes to the things you are sure you are capable of doing regarding time, beliefs, emotions and finances. You should not commit yourself to do things that you know will hurt you somehow.
If you get a request from someone and you have decided to say no, delaying or not giving a response will not make things better. A counselor in Orlando will tell you to give the other person the response you have in mind and get it done with once and for all. You might feel anxious and fearful but avoiding giving a response will only keep both of you stuck in a spot.
This is the hardest part that a lot of people seem to find very hard to do. It is usually uncomfortable and awkward to deny people of their requests, but if you are not in a good position to grant the request, then it's best to say no. To effectively pass across your message, try and be honest about why you cannot help, thank the person for thinking you can help and maintain your ground (for those that will insist on you helping).
Heather Oller is a licensed Orlando therapist at Orlando Thrive Therapy, Coaching & Counseling who specializes in counseling Orlando couples, individuals, and families who are seeking changes in their lives. She has been a mental health professional for over 17 years and is a practicing Orlando counselor that specializes in conflict resolution for couples. You can contact her for an appointment or call 407-592-8997 for more information.