People pleasing is a behavior that occurs when you go above and beyond to make sure other people are happy, even at your own expense. It’s so common that it’s often seen as a positive quality. However, the effects of people pleasing can be far-reaching—especially if it begins to affect your mental health and wellbeing. In this blog post, we’ll discuss where this behavior comes from, why it can be damaging, and how to get help if you’re struggling with people pleasing.
Most behaviors don’t just appear out of nowhere; they usually have some sort of underlying cause or origin story. In the case of people pleasing, it often has its roots in childhood experiences. If you grew up in an environment where love and approval were only given when you did something “right” or “perfectly”, then it makes sense that you may have developed a habit of striving for others’ approval as an adult.
It could also be linked to more serious issues like trauma or abuse. If you experienced trauma as a child or were in an environment where your basic needs weren’t met (and going above and beyond was necessary to get them), then this could lead to a pattern of trying to please everyone around you as an instinctual coping mechanism.
When taken too far, people pleasing can be incredibly damaging not only to our relationships with others but also ourselves. This is because when we put other people first constantly without taking time for ourselves, we end up feeling drained and exhausted—both physically and emotionally. This leaves us feeling overwhelmed and unable to cope with the demands of everyday life in a healthy way. We may also feel resentment towards those who take advantage of us or guilt when we inevitably have to say no at some point (which will happen!). Additionally, if our self-worth is solely based on what others think about us instead of our own opinion on our worthiness, then this can lead severe emotional distress over time. All these feelings combined can lead to anxiety attacks or depression if left unchecked for too long. Furthermore, if these feelings are rooted in childhood issues such as trauma or abuse, then seeking professional help should always be considered as well since those issues need more specialized attention than regular therapy can provide. It's important that those struggling with people pleasing understand their behavior and learn how to cultivate healthier habits of self-care and boundary setting so that they don't become overwhelmed by their own emotions which can lead to more serious psychological conditions down the line!
When taken too far, people pleasing has the potential to be incredibly harmful both mentally and emotionally – leading to conditions such as anxiety attacks or depression if left unchecked for too long! Understanding the root cause of why someone might engage in this type of behavior helps give insight into how best address it moving forward – whether through self-care techniques like meditation or talking one-on-one with a professional counselor who specializes in treating disorders related to trauma/abuse history (like Orlando Thrive Therapy). Ultimately though – no matter what route you choose – learning how manage your thoughts/feelings while still respecting yourself enough not let others take advantage will go a long way towards helping prevent further emotional distress!
Heather Oller is the owner and founder of Orlando Thrive Therapy, Coaching, and Counseling. She is a licensed counselor and a family mediator who has over 23 years of dedicated work as a professional in the mental health field. Through her company's mission, she continues to pave the way for future therapists, and their clients, who want a higher quality of life....and who want to thrive, rather than just survive. You can contact Orlando Thrive Therapy at 407-592-8997 for more information.