Common Communication Problems in Marriage and How to Address Them

Common Communication Problems in Marriage and How to Address Them

Common Communication Problems in Marriage and How to Address Them

Good communication is the backbone of a strong and healthy marriage. However, it's not uncommon for couples to struggle with communication issues. These problems can range from constant fighting to a complete breakdown of communication channels. If you're experiencing communication problems in your marriage, you're not alone. In this post, we'll discuss some of the most common communication problems in marriage and offer some guidance on how to address them.

Lack of Communication

One of the most common communication problems in marriage is a lack of communication. This means that couples don't spend enough time talking to each other. They may have conflicting schedules, feel too busy, or simply not place enough value on communicating with their spouse. This can lead to feelings of loneliness, disconnect, and even divorce. To address this issue, set aside some time each day to talk to your spouse. It could be over breakfast, during dinner, or before bed. Find a time that works for both of you, and stick to it. During this time, put away distractions like your phone and really listen to what your spouse has to say.

Different Communication Styles

We all communicate differently. Some people are very direct and to-the-point, while others prefer to beat around the bush. Miscommunication can arise when partners have different communication styles. For example, a direct communicator may come across as abrasive to their partner who is more indirect. To address this issue, take some time to learn about your spouse's communication style. Once you understand how they communicate, you can adjust your own style to better align with theirs. This can help reduce misunderstandings and improve the overall quality of your communication.

Criticism vs. Constructive Feedback

Criticism is defined as finding fault or pointing out flaws in something. This is different from providing constructive feedback which is intended to help someone improve. When couples struggle with communication, criticism can become a common issue. It's important to remember that criticizing your spouse can be hurtful and lead to feelings of defensiveness. Instead, focus on providing constructive feedback. For example, instead of saying "You never listen to me," say "I feel unheard when we argue." This type of feedback is less accusatory and more likely to lead to positive change.

Avoiding Conflict

Conflict is a natural part of any relationship, and it's not always a bad thing. However, some couples go to great lengths to avoid conflict, which can be just as damaging as constant fighting. Avoiding conflict often leads to resentment, which can fester and grow over time. Instead of avoiding conflict, try to address it in a healthy way. This means being respectful and calm during disagreements, actively listening to your spouse's perspective, and finding a compromise that works for both of you.


Stonewalling is when one partner withdraws from communication during a disagreement. This can be incredibly frustrating for the other partner, as it feels like their concerns and feelings are being ignored. Stonewalling is a common problem in marriages, but it's important to address it if it's happening. If you're the one stonewalling, try to express your feelings using "I" statements. For example, say "I feel overwhelmed right now" instead of shutting down and refusing to communicate. If your spouse is stonewalling, try to approach them with empathy and understanding. Let them know that you're there for them and that you want to work through the issue together.


Communication problems are common in marriages, but they don't have to be a barrier to happiness and fulfillment. Taking the time to understand each other's communication styles, providing constructive feedback, and addressing conflict in a healthy way can go a long way in improving your marriage. If you're experiencing communication problems in your marriage and need extra support, consider working with a marriage counselor. A professional therapist can provide guidance and tools to help you and your spouse communicate effectively and strengthen your relationship. If you're looking for a marriage counselor in Orlando, FL, consider contacting Orlando Thrive Therapy to learn more about our marriage counseling services.

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Heather Oller

Heather Oller is the owner and founder of Orlando Thrive Therapy, Coaching, and Counseling. She is a licensed counselor and a family mediator who has over 23 years of dedicated work as a professional in the mental health field. Through her company's mission, she continues to pave the way for future therapists, and their clients, who want a higher quality of life....and who want to thrive, rather than just survive. You can contact Orlando Thrive Therapy at (407) 592-8997 for more information.