You've dreamed about your future a million times. You believed you had everything planned out. You visualized a bright future for yourself and allowed that spark of hope to grow inside you. Then, something transpired, and it now looks like you're on a different path than the one you intended. It seems like your vision is shattered. You noticed that plan in your mind's eye so often that it's like a part of you is missing now. How do you move ahead?
Whether you go through a challenging breakup, don't make it into the graduate school program you desired, or have been incapable of conceiving a baby, the failure of a dream can be devastating. No matter how much you try and how carefully you plan, occasionally, life throws curveballs that leave you feeling misplaced, bewildered, and like you've been gutted.
The promising news is that things will get better. People find peace with those curveballs and purpose in other parts of their life. As a result, it's possible to discover a new dream, set new objectives, and start moving forward again. Our therapist in Windermere offers some tips to help you move forward.
So, things didn't turn out the way you intended. And not in the minor, "it rained when I wanted to go for a picnic way." No, in a much bigger way. You didn't get accepted into med school. A severe injury ended your bright, athletic career. The individual you knew you'd spend the remainder of your life with terminated your relationship. You discovered your infertility battles were more significant than you realized, and you may never have children. So, when the shattered vision is this immense, what can you do?
People usually try to suppress negative emotions or hide disappointment. Unfortunately, this can be risky and doesn't remedy the misery that's festering deep inside. Your experience was genuine. Your ambitions were real. And now, the feelings you're experiencing are real too. Hiding from them or pushing them down won't work forever, so take a beat to let yourself feel that discomfort, pain, dissatisfaction, or just earth-shattering grief. You ARE powerful enough to endure those unfavorable emotions, and they need to be experienced.
Radically acknowledge that this is where you find yourself. This doesn't imply giving up on your vision forever. Radical acceptance doesn't signify appreciating the way things are. It does mean accepting the reality of the moment so you can manage and find a way forward.
You don't have to enjoy the situation. You may never appreciate that this happened to you. But it has. And an essential part of recovery is to radically, down to your bones, accept the circumstances for what they are.
Discover support as you search for a new course. Contact your friends. Call a parent or sibling. Reach out to your spiritual leader. Cry on your partner's shoulder. Most individuals want to support you. They may not have the ideal words or be able to understand exactly what you are going through but allowing others to witness your pain can be extremely effective and validating.
Usually, when somebody's dreams are shattered, they experience conflicting feelings, including shame. And unfortunately, these feelings may make it difficult to accept support. As a result, you may be tempted to drive away people who care about you. Or perhaps you even hold the dissatisfaction so close that you don't tell many individuals what you're going through.
But pain this complex can be challenging to hold onto. And handling it on your own can make so many additional things in your life worse. So, let somebody else share your obligation. Don't allow your shattered vision to come between you and your support system because you need them more than ever.
Take these steps when your dreams are shattered. Then, contact us today if you need a therapist in Windermere. We are here for you!
Heather Oller is the owner and founder of Orlando Thrive Therapy, Coaching, and Counseling. She is a licensed counselor and a family mediator who has over 23 years of dedicated work as a professional in the mental health field. Through her company's mission, she continues to pave the way for future therapists, and their clients, who want a higher quality of life....and who want to thrive, rather than just survive. You can contact Orlando Thrive Therapy at (407) 592-8997 for more information.