Feeling stuck in a negative cycle in your marriage can be one of the hardest hurdles any married couple struggling can face. Marriages are hard work, that is a fact, but they should not create more stress or sadness for you. A marriage that is fueled with criticism, fighting, and cold silence is no marriage at all and any married couple seeking help for negative communication should do so quickly.
There is no guidebook to being married and there is no way to learn healthy communication skills overnight. The only way to really get to the bottom of the ongoing negative cycle you might be in is to speak to a certified couples expert. Marriage therapy in Orlando can have many focuses and traditionally, marriage therapists in Orlando would agree that a vast majority of couples coming for relationship counseling are coming for conflict resolution. They are seeking help with finding ways to successfully navigate and work through an argument or conflict.
One piece that is usually mentioned and discussed during an Orlando marriage therapy session is the different phases of an argument. It is only after reflection that an individual can retrace where their actions and behaviors match up in the different phases. There are two phases: The Reactive Phase and The Engagement Phase. Just as the names predict, each phase is dedicated to a crucial piece of an argument or conflict that can set the precedence for future arguments to come up or continue.
In the reactive phase, this is where emotions usually tend to run high, and each partner is acting and feeling as though they are a raw muscle. Something simply said is going to cause a high intense reaction. This is where criticism, defensiveness, and even stonewalling can emerge in the dialogue between partners. Most often, the phase ends with silence, or excessive yelling leading to fatigue.
The next phase that comes after is the engagement phase and is usually the phase that is the hardest to follow through on. Just as the name suggests, it is the phase where each partner is willing to come back and engage with one another and speak about the argument, the emotions tied to it, and what led to it. This is very difficult to do, and it is most easily forgotten about then actually followed through on.
Trying to mend a broken marriage on your own is hard and very exhausting. This is because you are in the emotional thick of the marriage forest and finding a guide is necessary to see clearly. That is where an expert marriage counselor helps and can give you each the healthy tools to communicate. When you work with an Orlando marriage therapist, you get to use a neutral person to teach you the tools necessary for a successful marriage. In marriage therapy in Orlando, you will learn to navigate each phase of conflict and ensure that the relationship doesn’t suffer from the conflict between two different individuals.
Heather Oller is a licensed Orlando therapist at Orlando Thrive Therapy, Coaching & Counseling who specializes in counseling Orlando couples, individuals, and families who are seeking changes in their lives. She has been a mental health professional for over 17 years and is a practicing Orlando counselor that specializes in conflict resolution for couples. You can contact her for an appointment or call 407-592-8997 for more information.