Are you concerned that you and your spouse are headed towards divorce? Do you want to try to do anything you can to prevent divorce from happening? When the love is there, you can still work to save your marriage before you consider divorce. If you both commit to working on the relationship and truly want to save what you have, it is possible to do the work. As a marriage therapist, Dr. Phillips is here with some advice. These are a few tips to prevent your marriage from ending in divorce.
If your marriage is suffering because you are both overworked or constantly busy, you need to take some time to focus on what is important: the two of you. Take some time off work and plan a vacation for just the two of you to get away, reconnect, and relax. If you cannot afford to get away on a vacation, a weekly date night will suffice. By planning events that focus on spending time with one another, you can look forward to the time to talk and just be in each other’s company.
Over time, you may start to notice temptations or recognize the desire to stray. Instead of giving in to these temptations, stay faithful to your spouse. Find new ways to connect with your spouse or spice up your intimacy if things are becoming stale or repetitive. Instead of being unfaithful, recognize the real reason your eyes are straying, and fix it.
Listening is often the most important way to show someone that you respect and care for them. It is also the only way to truly understand how they are feeling and what they are dealing with that day. Give your spouse time to talk about their day, their emotions, and their overall well-being, and just be there to listen and support. As you listen, think of ways that you can make them feel better or what you can do differently to show your support.
Sometimes the issues in your marriage can be solved by working on yourself. In order to love someone else fully, you need to first love yourself. If you have a low self-esteem, are constantly second-guessing yourself, or do not have faith in your own decision-making skills, this may start to impact the way you perceive others. Do not let your mental health ruin the relationships around you and consider working on yourself too.
When you are ready to save your marriage but you could use the help of a professional, go to counseling. By working out your issues with the guidance and safe space created by a therapist, you can feel comfortable sharing your emotions and learn new ways to reconcile and connect with your spouse.
Heather Oller is a licensed Orlando therapist at Orlando Thrive Therapy, Coaching & Counseling who specializes in counseling Orlando couples, individuals, and families who are seeking changes in their lives. She has been a mental health professional for over 17 years and is a practicing Orlando counselor that specializes in conflict resolution for couples. You can contact her for an appointment or call 407-592-8997 for more information.