Are you always focusing on what you could have done better? Do you struggle to accept any mistakes or failures? There is a big difference between being an overachiever and being a perfectionist. When you aim to overachieve, you constantly want to set the bar higher for yourself. However, when you aim for perfection, you may struggle to keep your eye on realistic goals. As a therapist in Winter Park, we help clients feel more comfortable with reality and set attainable goals when they battle perfectionism. These are a few ways you can overcome perfectionism.
Before you start to overcome your perfectionism, you need to take the time to recognize your behaviors, triggers, and tendencies. This requires reflection and time to pause. You may notice your negative reaction to a pile of dishes in the sink or you may have trouble accepting a misplaced paper in a stack with a hundred other pages. If this happens, take note of how you are feeling so you can start there.
Sometimes, perfectionism can also manifest negative emotions. You may fixate on the negative aspects of your life, your appearance, your job, and your home. Instead, alter your perspective by focusing only on the positive things. What do you love about yourself? What do you love about your job? Remind yourself that there are many more good things that you have in your life, and you can instead appreciate them.
Many perfectionists do not allow themselves to make mistakes. When they do make mistakes, they may think the worst thing happened to them. This cultivates a negative thought pattern that distorts reality. Instead, make mistakes and sit with them for a while. Let yourself feel the effects of the mistake so that you can learn how to accept, fix, and be comfortable in those moments. You can start to feel less stressed, which will also boost your confidence overall. Making mistakes is a normal part of life, and learning to accept them is just a part of the process to overcome your struggle.
When you constantly set high standards for yourself, you may also be your own worst critic. Instead of always putting more tasks on your plate, consider just giving yourself a break. Take the pressure off of yourself so that you can simply be in the moment. Lower your unrealistically high standards and learn to set achievable, realistic goals for your life. This can have a positive influence on your approach to life, and it can make you feel more calm and relaxed throughout each day of your life.
By following these tips, you can live a full and happy life while still striving for high standards. If you are experiencing negative symptoms associated with your perfectionism, you may want to seek the help of a trained therapist in Winter Park.
Heather Oller is a licensed Orlando therapist at Orlando Thrive Therapy, Coaching & Counseling who specializes in counseling Orlando couples, individuals, and families who are seeking changes in their lives. She has been a mental health professional for over 17 years and is a practicing Orlando counselor that specializes in conflict resolution for couples. You can contact her for an appointment or call 407-592-8997 for more information.