A great marriage requires commitment from both partners. Marital problems can arise due to many scenarios, sometimes leading to separation or divorce. However, there are ways to work through differences and conflicts, even if you and your spouse have grown apart. Positive outcomes are possible when both spouses are willing to put in the effort and work to reconcile.
The rebuilding process for a marriage may be challenging work, but the support and guidance of Dr. Phillips, marriage therapist, can help you through the challenges ahead. Here are some tips for saving your marriage.
The harmony of your marriage requires self-care. You got married to your partner to share your dreams, aspirations, love, and happiness, but these are not things you can share with your spouse if you do not nurture them in yourself. Your responsibility is to construct your own happiness, and no one can do it for you. Think about the things that bring you joy and peace, and then do them more often. Make a list of things that you can do to recharge and re-energize. For example, your list might include meditating, writing poetry, singing, and swimming in the ocean. If you care for yourself, you will be more emotionally prepared to be there for your partner.
Do not forget that being critical of your partner will never bring positive results. Truthfully, nobody appreciates feeling attacked, and even the best intentions can lead to catastrophe. Many couples who have been in counseling for some time talk about how refreshing it is to feel validated and heard by their partner. So be careful with the words you are using, address issues with 'I' statements, and explain your feelings and needs with loving-kindness.
You will easily empathize with your partner if you listen to what they are really saying. When your spouse feels like you understand their point of view, you can transform an argument into dialogue. You do not have to agree with your partner to validate their feelings. It simply means that you can put yourself in their shoes and understand where they are coming from.
Look for your spouse's positive characteristics and actions every day. For example, if you disagree, try to search your spouse's words for positive meaning before responding to any negativity. Our brains tend to discover precisely what they are looking for, so if you are focused on finding the positive, you will not have any trouble finding it. Consequently, if you are forever looking for negativity and faults, you will also discover them.
There is hope for even the most challenging marital relationships. Hope always remains. The fastest way out may seem like the best course of action, but if you and your partner decide to put forth effort toward reconciliation, having a loving and satisfying marriage is possible. The only exception is if emotional or physical abuse is present. In these cases, leaving the relationship is generally the best option.
These are just a few tips for salvaging your marriage. Contact Dr. Phillips, marriage therapist, today to begin the process of healing your relationship.
Heather Oller is a licensed Orlando therapist at Orlando Thrive Therapy, Coaching & Counseling who specializes in counseling Orlando couples, individuals, and families who are seeking changes in their lives. She has been a mental health professional for over 17 years and is a practicing Orlando counselor that specializes in conflict resolution for couples. You can contact her for an appointment or call 407-592-8997 for more information.