If your marital relationship is inundated with problems and conflict, you probably want to meet with a marriage counselor in Orlando to make things more manageable. You are likely also wondering how to mention it to your partner without hurting their feelings or starting a fight. Getting counseling is a big step for some people, so it may be challenging to discuss. If you do not know how to address the idea of counseling with your spouse, consider the following tips:
Our society places many negative connotations on counseling. Your partner may be scared that going to marriage therapy means no hope left for your relationship. It would be best to assure them that you want to go to counseling to better your relationship, not end it. You can do this by focusing on the positive outcomes that marriage therapy can provide instead of the negative aspects of your union.
First, show your partner that your marriage is worth the effort by mentioning goals you would like to reach with the help of a therapist, like enhanced intimacy, a stronger emotional connection, or better communication. In addition, you can offer your spouse assurance by showing them the benefits that therapy can offer. Think about some of the issues in your relationship to show them how you want it to improve. For example, if you feel more like roommates than lovers, you can say, “We could learn some tips for connecting emotionally to bring back the intimacy to our relationship.” This statement makes the benefit of attending therapy clear to your spouse.
Try to avoid mentioning therapy as a last-ditch effort or your last chance to save your marriage. Even if you feel like this is your final option, planting that seed in your partner’s mind may make the situation more stressful and lead to disastrous results.
Your spouse may be uncomfortable with the thought of counseling because they think the therapist will criticize them. You can ease their worry by reminding them that a marriage therapist's primary goal is helping you make your relationship better and that hurting or blaming anyone for the problems is not a part of the process.
They may also be scared that the therapist will choose sides, even though this is not the role of a counselor. A marriage therapist is on one side only, the side of your partnership. Your therapist will seek to understand the source of problems in your relationship and help you discover solutions to make things better. They will build a positive and trusting relationship with both of you, help you learn tools to achieve your goals, and foster more loving and open communication within your marriage.
It is vital to help your spouse understand that counselors never seek to antagonize or shame their clients and instead work to support the goals and needs within your partnership. In addition, it may help if you agree to find a new counselor if either of you feels targeted or victimized in any way during your counseling sessions.
These are just a couple of tips to help you talk to your spouse about seeing a marriage counselor in Orlando. Do not allow fear to keep you from getting the help you need. Remain considerate, loving, and honest when discussing counseling, and your partner will be more open to your suggestion. Help them understand that your only motivation is making your relationship better for both of you.
Heather Oller is a licensed Orlando therapist at Orlando Thrive Therapy, Coaching & Counseling who specializes in counseling Orlando couples, individuals, and families who are seeking changes in their lives. She has been a mental health professional for over 17 years and is a practicing Orlando counselor that specializes in conflict resolution for couples. You can contact her for an appointment or call 407-592-8997 for more information.