We as humans all hold values differently. The first question you might wonder is, what exactly is a value? As mental health professionals, we define values as your guiding principles to life and what is important to you. This can be reflected in your actions, your relationships, and most importantly your boundaries. Values can be seen in our relationship with others, with ourselves, with our personality, even in our work.
How do I define my values? Each person's values are individually crafted from their experiences. Very often trauma can factor into your values as a way to protect yourself. Anxiety therapists in Orlando utilize values as a way to formulate boundaries in interpersonal relationships. For instance, someone who values honesty would need a specific boundary set on communication and lying. Other values can range from dependability, respect, commitment, empathy, etc.
As a mental health counselor, and someone who has had experience in defining their own values and setting boundaries associated in life - the first step is understanding the WHY behind your values. This can be helpful in the communication and vulnerability aspect in your relationships. Next, prioritization of your boundaries. Like mentioned before, each person has a value - and two people's values may not exactly line up. Therefore, there may be room for compromise on "lower-level" values which can be time spent together, alone time, even aspects of communication.
If you are having difficulty understanding, labeling or prioritizing your values, speaking to a mental health expert can be a great next step. Utilizing a relationship or couples counseling expert can be a great way to clarify boundaries in a relationship as well. Remember, values are unique and come from aspects of our personality. Understanding yourself is one of the most important and rewarding things therapy can provide.
Heather Oller is a licensed Orlando therapist at Orlando Thrive Therapy, Coaching & Counseling who specializes in counseling Orlando couples, individuals, and families who are seeking changes in their lives. She has been a mental health professional for over 17 years and is a practicing Orlando counselor that specializes in conflict resolution for couples. You can contact her for an appointment or call 407-592-8997 for more information.