HOW TO GET OVER A BREAK UP BETTER

HOW TO GET OVER A BREAK UP BETTER

HOW TO GET OVER A BREAK UP BETTER

Learning how to deal with anxiety or depression after a breakup is hard. Knowing what to do when you spend so much time with someone and then it is suddenly over can shake you to your core. The desire to reach out to reconnect, or even asking yourself if you should beg, barter, or entice your ex to get back together with you has probably crossed your mind. Thinking of ways to make your ex jealous or miss you is also common. These strategies rarely work and if they do, the chances are that the reasons you broke up in the first place will happen again.  That is why the best thing for you to do after a breakup is to get professional helo if you find yourself feeling any of these ways. Dealing with anxiety after a breakup can be easily resolved with codependency therapy.  A codependency therapist in Orlando can teach you how to overcome uncomfortable feelings, not just learn to "deal" with them.  

MAKING A CLEAN BREAK

The counselor you work with will also guide you through what a healthy break-up looks like and how to get over an ex more easily. Respecting your ex-partner and their boundaries can be difficult at the beginning of a breakup. This can be due to the drastic change of not receiving the love and affection you were used to when you both were together and wanting to still maintain a relationship. However, the breakup did happen for a reason, and this is something that individual therapy will help you keep in perspective. This is crucial to the healing process.

Individual counselors in work with many individuals going through a breakup and one thing that many clients struggle with is knowing how to maintain healthy boundaries with an ex after a break-up.  For this to happen, you need to ask,

  1. "Should I really be trying to talk to my ex after we broke up?"
  2. "What am I trying to gain by continuing to communicate with someone who doesn't want to be with me anymore?"
  3. "At the end of the day, does communicating with my ex make me feel worse or better?"
  4. "Will staying in contact with my ex prevent me from meeting someone new?"
  5. "Am I just trying to hold onto having someone in my life even if it's not the right someone for me?"

Boundaries, especially in terms of communication, are very important when you are trying to find ways on how to get over a break-up.  Communicating at the end of a break-up and agreeing to establish specific boundaries might be important for you both to move on. These boundaries could be physical, emotional, mental, or sexual. All are necessary in order to transition into an independent lifestyle.

Codependency therapy is also a very important process that can help you untangle any addictions to people in your life you might feel you have. Codenpendy therapists work with clients to foster self-love, higher value, and to let go of the feeling that they need someone else to complete them. The most important thing is for you to start using boundaries at the very start of any break-up and to get expert help if you are not strong enough to do it on your own.  

HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP BOUNDARIES ARE HARD BUT NECESSARY

Finding ways to establish and how to set healthy relationship boundaries start with limiting communication with one another, physically separating yourselves from one another, and maybe even seeing a professional therapist who can offer guidance on how these boundaries can be established. Ask each other what you both need at this current moment and what the relationship needs to look like to move forward. Establishing the boundaries early can start the healing process but also lead to a healthy breakup as well. Codependency therapists know that this is all much easier said than done. however. You have spent time and invested part of your life into one another and thinking of putting up a boundary with this person is hard and gut-wrenching to do.

However, ask the alternative: Will you be waiting for your partner and deprive yourself of potential happiness? Will you consistently be trying to keep tabs on them to see what they are doing and allow their behaviors to influence your happiness in life? This is not the way healing begins but is actually a clear path to more heartache. Setting boundaries will allow for the healing process to start but even more importantly allow you to find out what you need in relationships moving forward. Set the boundaries at the start to have a healing process at the end!

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Orlando, Florida 32803
Heather Oller

Heather Oller is a licensed Orlando therapist at Orlando Thrive Therapy, Coaching & Counseling who specializes in counseling Orlando couples, individuals, and families who are seeking changes in their lives. She has been a mental health professional for over 17 years and is a practicing Orlando counselor that specializes in conflict resolution for couples. You can contact her for an appointment or call 407-592-8997 for more information.