This one goes out to all the star crossed lovers out there looking to fulfill their love and belonging needs, but have recently gone through a breakup with someone they were in a committed relationship with. Possibly one of the most aged old questions is “How do I get over a breakup?” because there are so many different answers. This can even get tougher when you live with your ex-partner and transition into a different way of living or even looking into moving out as well. There are different ways to cope and here are just a few to keep in mind. Similar to grief, counselors in Orlando teach people going through breakup coping mechanisms, emotional acceptance, and processing and validation skills.
Ideally, what you should first do after the initial breakup is setting up boundaries or rules with your ex-partner. This could be limiting the amount of time you communicate, time spent together or even cutting off contact completely (which is much easier said than done). In terms of living together, it could be establishing boundaries for cohabitation, space, or even what it would like if you both decided to bring dates home and how to proceed. A big step when working through a breakup is knowing where your social support is. Friends and family are great support systems you can turn towards for guidance and support through a breakup. They will be able to dedicate time for you when you are having relationship remorse or grief.
A big concept Orlando relationship experts drive home is the idea of the internal dialogue you have. Initially, a relationship allows us to fulfill our love and belonging basic needs and it is a need that we all strive for. If the relationship came to an end, perhaps there was a good reason for it and it wasn’t allowing for the true fulfillment of this need to happen. Acceptance of yourself and your emotions is key. Don't fill your internal dialogue with things such as “It is my fault” or “Maybe I should get back together” or even “I need to date again”. These will not help you work through the breakup and might even make it harder.
Instead, try focusing on the things you need, put yourself first, and focus on that self-care. Perhaps start a hobby, give yourself some personal time throughout the day and remind yourself of the best qualities you can bring to a relationship because they will always be there-they won’t go away. Breakups are another form of loss, so treat it like one. A relationship counselor in Orlando who specializes in relationship counseling can help you talk through your breakup and is a great place to start.
Heather Oller is a licensed Orlando therapist at Orlando Thrive Therapy, Coaching & Counseling who specializes in counseling Orlando couples, individuals, and families who are seeking changes in their lives. She has been a mental health professional for over 17 years and is a practicing Orlando counselor that specializes in conflict resolution for couples. You can contact her for an appointment or call 407-592-8997 for more information.