Getting help for low self-esteem, help for anxiety, or help with confidence, often starts with understanding how important validation is. Validation is crucial for healthy living and also for a healthy mental state of mind. Validation provides us with a sense of confidence in our identity as a person as well as maintains our motivational stature to achieve our best life. In counseling, the biggest benefit is a safe place where your thoughts and feelings are finally validated without judgment or criticism.
Clients who seek Orlando counseling for help with low self-esteem might discover while working with a counselor that they never gave much consideration to the importance of validation. Through the process of self-discovery, they begin to see how a lack of validation or harmful validation may have played a role in their low self-esteem. Self-limiting beliefs can also originate from not receiving beneficial validation.
How do you know when validation is hurting instead of benefiting? There are two types of validation: Internal and External. Internal validation happens when you are able to promote yourself and have the confidence within yourself to acknowledge who you are and live to be the person you know you are. Internal validation is meant to focus on the positive qualities within yourself and become more enrooted in the understanding of who you and how you live your life.
External validation is when you receive validation from outside of yourself, whether it is from the environment or experiences you are going through. External validation is positive but is meant to be external and more as a supplement to the internal validation you give yourself. As you grow and learn, you begin to accept external validation as the first and only form of validation. This is where you begin to compromise and bottle up your emotions and feelings, compare yourself to others, and begin searching for high amounts of external validation to continue your growth.
In this process, it is as if you plug your internal validation cord into the outlet of external validation and you begin to source your internal validation from the external validation you are receiving. The main issue with this is that what happens when the external validation is taken away from you, feelings of inadequacy can begin to manifest. You are left with no internal validation and when symptoms. This is when feelings of anxiety and depression begin to emerge.
You begin to criticize and self-blame yourself through negative self-imagery and focus on your faults, not your strengths. An Orlando counselor will give you the tools to switch this paradigm and focus on your internal validation and how to view yourself positively. When you are successfully able to do this, the external validation acts more as an affirmation to what you believe about yourself.
Identifying your strengths, values, and beliefs positively begins to allow your worldview to shift to promote the individualistic qualities that make you, you. You are your own source of strength, power, and freedom and you do not need to give these things away. You do not need external validation to control how you think, feel, and live. You are uniquely human, there is no need to seek external validation to give you internal validation. Instead, have it act as just an affirmation and confirmation of your unique qualities and strengths. No one else is like you, you are human, you are the self, you are you-Validate that!
For more information on individual counseling in Orlando for help with low self-esteem, help with anxiety, or dealing with feelings of low self-worth, call today. Orlando Thrive Therapy has a team of expert therapists that can get you to the place you deserve to be.
Heather Oller is a licensed Orlando therapist at Orlando Thrive Therapy, Coaching & Counseling who specializes in counseling Orlando couples, individuals, and families who are seeking changes in their lives. She has been a mental health professional for over 17 years and is a practicing Orlando counselor that specializes in conflict resolution for couples. You can contact her for an appointment or call 407-592-8997 for more information.