In this Orlando counseling self-care series blog we will be discussions how comparison to others can have a negative impact on good mental health. Comparing yourself to others or even past versions of yourself, can have one of the most detrimental impacts you have not previously considered. What makes comparison so damaging to self-esteem?
Let’s begin by imagining yourself going to the gym. When you get there, you may take a look around at the other members and look at their workouts and body tone. In this instance, you have a choice to either compare yourself those around you, or to strive for internal drive.
When you compare, you are giving away your power externally to the people and experiences around you. You begin to think that they are better and that you are somehow deficient. Your worldview is shifts from internal to external, and is now determined by them, rather than you.
By doing this, this takes away the energy and experience needed to guide your own life and reality to the way you want it. This happens individually and in relationships too.
Comparing is when you are wishing and wanting something other than what is. It does not allow for acceptance and manifests negative self-dialogue or critique. The choice here is that when you begin to compare, you want to shift that to strive.
When you strive you acknowledge something that YOU want to work towards. You become more goal oriented and more focused on completing tasks. Striving in life is the same as going to the gym in the above example.
Striving for the life that you want is putting yourself first, regardless of the view of the external factors and influences. It allows focus on what you need now and creates movement forward to living your best life.
When you strive to be the best version of yourself, you are met with the opportunity to learn about who you are as a person, what you like, and what allows you to succeed as an individual.
You become more attune to who you are and how you can achieve the ideals that you want for yourself. In your world today, it is hard to not compare. This is thanks to platforms such as social media and other entertainment outlets.
The challenge is to put yourself first, and strive for what you want. Change the mental working to “I will” instead of “I want” or “I wish”. It is okay to put yourself first because YOU MATTER. You have so much to give. Remember the only person who truly knows you, is you.
For more information on couples counseling or individual counseling please reach out to schedule an appointment today by calling and Orlando counselor at 407-592-8997.
Heather Oller is a licensed Orlando therapist at Orlando Thrive Therapy, Coaching & Counseling who specializes in counseling Orlando couples, individuals, and families who are seeking changes in their lives. She has been a mental health professional for over 17 years and is a practicing Orlando counselor that specializes in conflict resolution for couples. You can contact her for an appointment or call 407-592-8997 for more information.