Couples Therapy Orlando is recommended to be the first place to start before discussing divorce. Sadly, many people struggling in a failing relationship do not seek professional relationship counseling help first. It is true that marriage and dating don’t come with a road map. Even people who think they are completely ready for commitment find it challenging to adapt to being in a partnership. It can also be hard to differentiate between your own needs and how to make your partner happy too. Codependent relationships can be a perfect example of two people who care deeply for one another but continue to feel hurt by each other. Such is also the case for couples that are dealing with substance use that negatively impacts the relationship.
It is hard to separate yourself from these types of dynamics. It can be even harder to feel hopeful or optimistic about staying together. Being codependent is not a sign of weakness. With the right support, you can develop better boundaries and have healthier interactions with one another.
At the beginning of any new relationship, everything feels great. The reason for this is that there is a chemical reaction in your body that occurs when you fall in love or lust. This reaction impacts your frontal lobe which controls your judgment and sexual expression. The relaxing effect that happens during this time gives a person a chance to share freely of themselves and want to get to know their partner too.
So, where do things start to go wrong? Since boundaries do not often exist in the beginning stages of any new relationship, it can be hard to remember why they are important. Codependency in a relationship can begin to develop if you do not become mindful or advocate for healthy boundaries. Healthy boundaries are important because they protect your mental health, your time, and your sexual and emotional integrity. When you have healthy boundaries, you can still be independent. When you don't have a good concept of healthy boundaries, you might forget why independence is important.
Codependency can impact anyone, but in a relationship that is codependent, the negative emotional consequences can be devastating. Couples therapy Orlando seeks to help people unravel the tangled web of codependency. Separating the selves in the relationship from the whole of it can take time. Without professional support, it can be hard to do and is often quite painful. Even recognizing or admitting that you are in a codependent relationship can be hard to do.
Feeling overwhelmed with uncontrollable emotions or obtrusive thoughts can be the first signs that you are in a codependent relationship. Perhaps you have recognized that the “highs” are wonderful, but the “lows” soon follow. In couples therapy Orlando for people who are codependent, you will learn what a healthy relationship should feel like.
Another characteristic of codependency can often be substance use. In codependent relationships, people often do not have good coping skills and mask negative emotions with alcohol or drug use. They often share these behaviors together or one partner enables the other. The behavior simply prevents the individual from dealing with difficult feelings of low self-worth, or feelings of being unlovable.
Codependency can look a lot like love to some people. It can also coexist within a very loving relationship that feels bad sometimes. Identifying poor boundaries in a codependent relationship can be a start to deciding you need to get help or end up in a failed marriage or relationship. Ask yourself if you ever feel these ways:
When a relationship doesn’t feel good anymore, but you still love the other person, that can be hard. You will have to ask yourself if there is something worth saving and if you are willing to do the work to make things better. Codependency is something that can be fixed through couples work and individual counseling.
You have to admit that the codependent relationship is all consuming. You have to admit that you when you spend more time trying to be something for someone else, you lose yourself. Finding out who you are and setting healthy boundaries will be hard at first. You will struggle with feelings of guilt, fear, hopelessness, worthlessness, and many other emotions that will tempt you to go back to the way things were.
In a codependent relationship, people often sacrifice relationships with others who matter to them. This can be family or long-time friends. Oftentimes, if your partner lacks self-worth, they will look to you to reassure them often. They will see anyone who might take your time away from them as a threat.
In a codependent relationship you start out doing everything with each other and the minute you want to be alone, your partner will feel threatened by that. Maybe they will text or call you excessively while you are away. Maybe they will guilt you for wanting to do something without them. Over time, in this relationship, you will forget what you even used to like to do and begin to just do things to keep your partner happy.
In a codependent relationship, you feel personally responsible for other people’s happiness and when things go wrong you often blame yourself. This is a trap that keeps you entangled with other peoples needs and wants. You lose sight of what makes you happy and forget that you matter too.
When you are always trying to make other people happy, your feelings start to matter less and less. This leads way to making decisions to give up activities, connections, and outlets that used to be important to you. Maybe you also don’t strive to grow in your job, or further your education because it might “rock the boat.” You become limited in what you do, how you think, and how you grow as an individual.
Codependent relationships often have “highs” and “lows.” Many times there is substance use involved and the addiction to the highs of the relationship feels the same as that to a substance. It can be very difficult taking a close look at uncomfortable feelings like guilt, anxiety, low self-worth, or depression.
This is just one additional way that a codependent relationship prevents you from having connections with others. You only go out when your partner is busy or you only do things when they want to do them. This includes visiting family or friends. If your partner doesn’t “like” certain people, you avoid them too.
Couples therapy Orlando for codependency or any other relationship counseling issue is the first place you should seek help. A professional therapist specializing in marriage counseling or couples work will be able to tell when there is codependency involved. It is the best resource you can use to navigate relationship problems. A therapist will work with you to unravel the issues in your marriage or relationship causes anxiety or depression.
Orlando Thrive Therapy, Coaching, and Counseling has relationship experts that use a variety of techniques, including The Gottman Method for couples therapy. Codependency is just one subject they are trained to work with. Infidelity issues, resentment, anger, deception, lack of intimacy, and lost friendship are also key areas a relationship expert can help you resolve. Call us at 407-592-8997 to request an appointment.
Heather Oller is a licensed Orlando therapist at Orlando Thrive Therapy, Coaching & Counseling who specializes in counseling Orlando couples, individuals, and families who are seeking changes in their lives. She has been a mental health professional for over 17 years and is a practicing Orlando counselor that specializes in conflict resolution for couples. You can contact her for an appointment or call 407-592-8997 for more information.