It's the rare couple that doesn't run into a few bumps in the road. If you recognize ahead of time, though, what those relationship problems might be, you'll have a much better chance of getting past them.
Even though every relationship has its ups and downs, successful couples have learned how to manage the bumps and keep their love life going. They hang in there, tackle problems, and learn how to work through the complex issues of everyday life. Many do this by going for relationship counseling, observing other successful couples, or just using trial and error.
This cause of conflict represents a lot of stuff, namely control, power, and trust. Most couples argue over bills, debt, spending, and other financial issues. These issues may even arise before the exchange of the wedding vow. How you decide to deal with money problems in your relationship will determine whether those problems will have a negative or positive effect on your relationship.
Discipline, diet, and other parenting issues can be sources of disagreement between couples. A child is the number one stressor in a marriage and can accentuate differences in beliefs on issues like how to discipline, who is responsible for most of the child care or what educational options to choose.
Even partners who love each other can be a mismatch, sexually. Married couples argue with each other about many sex-related issues including frequency or sex outside of their marriage. Withholding sex to punish a spouse, breaks the marital bond. Cheating on a spouse destroys trust. Sex can be a HUGE issue when it comes to undoing the vows you took.
Many couples argue over equitable distribution of household work, and how to do it. Instead of sitting down and dividing household chores fairly they quibble over who did or didn’t do what.
All relationship problems stem from poor communication, He thinks she means A, while she meant Z. Sometimes it is an honest mistake, but confusion and unclarity breed many an argument. The classic and straightforward help here is to seek to understand precisely what your mate said.
A lot of people go into marriage with certain expectations. Most of the time, marriage is the opposite of what we expected. We romanticize marriage and become disillusioned once those romantic expectations aren’t met. Unmet expectations are a significant source of conflict in marriages, let’s get real people. Neither you nor your mate is perfect. Let that soak into your head and your heart. Learn to love your partner – blemishes and all – and treat them right.
Before you quit, give your relationship another chance, talk about issues you are facing as a couple, come up together with solutions that best tackle the problems and go for relationship counseling as this has been proven to help.
Heather Oller is a licensed Orlando therapist at Orlando Thrive Therapy, Coaching & Counseling who specializes in counseling Orlando couples, individuals, and families who are seeking changes in their lives. She has been a mental health professional for over 17 years and is a practicing Orlando counselor that specializes in conflict resolution for couples. You can contact her for an appointment or call 407-592-8997 for more information.