A woman often seeks counseling in Orlando when she starts to crack under pressure. One goal in counseling women is to help empower them and identify their limits. Women are beautiful and wonderful creatures. We are born with so many gifts such as, our ability to multitask, our beautiful bodies, and our way with emotions. Even though we are blessed with these gifts, sometimes it takes a little work to learn how to accept them and work with them in our everyday lives. These gifts can cause distress and can often lead us into a counselor’s office discussing our issues with them. Many times, women seek counseling when they crack under the pressure of their everyday schedules, or when they just can’t grasp a hold on how to manage their emotions. Sometimes it does take a little extra help to learn how to embrace these gifts and find better ways to navigate the following common things women tend to do.
One thing we women take pride in is our ability to multitask.
It’s a gift for us because not many men are capable of doing it. However, it’s what we call, “a blessing and a curse.” With ten things going on at once, our mind is everywhere and nowhere. From the start of the day to the end of the day, our minds never slow down. Wake up, shower, make everyone’s breakfast, get the kids ready for school, fold the laundry, start another load, make the beds, empty the dishwasher, pay the bills, schedule necessary appointments, pick the kids up from school, get dinner started, help with homework, and so on and so on; aren’t you out of breath just reading that?
Imagine doing it! Our minds are pretty much like a run-on sentence—going on and on and on. Oftentimes, we forget to breathe or take a second for ourselves. We lose ourselves in our everyday lives, forgetting that amongst all the madness WE are important too. It is important to be in the moment. It is important to be mindful of yourself and what your mind and body is telling you. If you’re tired, take a nap! The world is not going to end if the laundry doesn’t get done right this second.
If you feel like you need fresh air because you’ve been cooped up in the house all day cleaning, go for a walk! So what, dinner might be 30 minutes later than normal? Never heard of cause of death from dinner being late. We only get one life; we only get one chance to make the best of this life. You may feel that there are many important things in your life that need your attention, such as your family, and giving them a happy, healthy home, but remember: YOU are important too.
Counselors often help women gain confidence in their body image and in re-framing negative thoughts about oneself. We women have an amazing gift—our bodies! Our bodies bare children, bring us from one place to another, and keep us healthy. Unfortunately, something, my vote being society, has brought us to not be loving and grateful to our bodies.
Women win when it comes to being the worst self-critics and the most judgmental. We look in the mirror and our thoughts are as follows: the bags under my eyes, the fat between my thighs, my hair looks greasy, my nose looks big, I’m too short, or I’m too tall, I look pregnant, why can’t I see my hipbones…then finally we walk away, after tearing ourselves apart, not being satisfied whatsoever in our own skin. We change our outfits twenty times, “Hey babe, does this make me look fat?” Always looking for reassurance from others. STOP! Stop doing all of this! We women need to stick together! Stop comparing yourself to others, and stop tearing one another down.
We need to bring each up! We are ALL beautiful! It may seem cliché, but we are all beautiful and unique in our own ways! Bodies come in many different shapes and sizes, that’s just the way it is. The sooner we learn to embrace it, the better off we’ll be! So stop obsessing over calories, and stop counting every flaw! Our bodies are sacred and they should be treated and looked at as such.
As women we are built to be more in touch with our emotions—our feminine side. We worry, we stress, we laugh, we cry, we feel pretty much every emotion all at once almost every day. So how do we do it? We don’t. After a while this state of being leads to a mental breakdown. We push our loved ones away, we walk out of rooms, we scream and cry, and we get questioned if it’s our “time of the month” because we’re just that emotional. It’s a gift to be able to be so in touch with our emotions but, like with every gift, we must learn how to master it—how to balance it.
Some of us are better at this than other, but none of us are perfect. Sometimes, we just need to learn to accept and to let go. Learn to separate our emotions, and attend to each one separately when needed. Learn to find happiness and joy even in the situations that bring out the sadness. Emotions are an amazing thing. The power to feel is a miraculous gift, but it can very quickly become a curse when our emotions get the best of us.
The sooner we learn to stop emphasizing the negative aspects in our lives, the better off we will be. See the gifts for what they are and stop letting them get the best of you. Work with them! Multitask in a manner where it allows you to still breathe! Enjoy your body and all it has to offer, and stop criticizing yourself! Stay in touch with your emotions without allowing them to control and get the best of you!
With a little bit of work, you can truly enjoy these aspects of yourself for what they are—gifts! (Article contributed by Ashley Campo, UCF Counseling and Psychology student)
Heather Oller is a licensed Orlando therapist at Orlando Thrive Therapy, Coaching & Counseling who specializes in counseling Orlando couples, individuals, and families who are seeking changes in their lives. She has been a mental health professional for over 17 years and is a practicing Orlando counselor that specializes in conflict resolution for couples. You can contact her for an appointment or call 407-592-8997 for more information.