Love defeats all. Is a great marriage possible? Do you want one? Do you want to sustain it? Here is how, according to our marriage therapist in Winter Park.
Love truly does conquer all. But, it is not a romantic swell of love, which is acceptable. Instead, it is the love that pulls things and people together rightly. A great marriage demands that each realize how hard it is for two people to exist together in the first place. Each loving couple (even the not-so-loving couple) comes from a diverse background. Genetically they are distinct. In terms of background and anticipation, they are separate. They are different in their thought styles, their love styles, and desire styles. It is sometimes a miracle that two individuals can live together for an extended time and remain bound to each other in the most convenient way. Love, like a vine, grows between individuals, given reciprocal tolerance, reciprocal charity, and reciprocal respect. People can grow together. But first:
To overcome difficulties, it is essential for each of the team, each and every time, to quit being the self-convinced individual. We all view the world through the sights of our own beliefs, expecting other individuals to think, feel, and see things the way we do. That is far from accurate. So the first stage is to discontinue your assumptions, quit being yourself, and merge with the other person, basically fuse, and sense the other person's opinion and point of view for a while. This demands a contract that one will speak at a time while the other listens and then anticipate the same from the other partner. You will discover that this is a new course. The usual way is for each individual to be hurt or mad or whatever else and hide behind a wall into their own beliefs and sense of fairness. The wall grows, and the other individual retreats even more into their sense of righteousness, and so it goes. This initiates conflicts, even wars among nations, let alone between individuals.
If you rehearse this, you will grow not only toward a great marriage, a lasting marriage, the most rewarding marriage, but you will be maturing yourself to a point where you are stronger in terms of your feelings, more patient, and wise because you will understand yourself and the other individual. You will also understand the people around you. This is a beautiful reward.
Follow these suggestions to develop a great marriage. Then, contact us if you need a marriage therapist in Winter Park. We want to help you have the best marriage possible.
Heather Oller is a licensed Orlando therapist at Orlando Thrive Therapy, Coaching & Counseling who specializes in counseling Orlando couples, individuals, and families who are seeking changes in their lives. She has been a mental health professional for over 17 years and is a practicing Orlando counselor that specializes in conflict resolution for couples. You can contact her for an appointment or call 407-592-8997 for more information.