Friendships are fantastic! Having a solid core of friends that support, guide, and protect you is something that can’t be bought or given but earned on both sides of the friendship. However, just because something as great as friendship is so fantastic does not mean it is immune to anxiety. On the contrary, sometimes friendships can cause the most anxious thinking in individuals. I want you to take a moment to think to yourself if you have ever focused on what your friends were doing and why they didn’t invite you?

This could be from something on social media or not speaking to them in a while and then I want you to focus on how long you have dwelled on it. If you have dwelled on it for a period of time where your body was starting to hurt or the thought became the most predominant thinking on your mind, you were in an anxious state from friendship. This is where behaviors of being too forward or aggressive with your friends can start to hurt the friendship all stemming from the anxious feelings and thoughts you are having.

The best way to work through friendship anxiety is through reframing and evidence building. I have learned, personally and professionally, that people are allowed to have more than just you as a friend. A circle of friends can arise for different reasons. Perhaps the person they were hanging out with is someone they are only familiar with. Perhaps they didn’t invite you to do something because there was another factor happening such as a holiday or external get-together.

You may think the person may not want to be your friend anymore but on the contrary, they would tell you that. If they don’t then that means they still value you as a part of their life and want to maintain the friendship. You also have a right to be honest, and ask questions so it is okay to ask questions. Ask how the event went or how they are doing and most of the time the answer will be given to you to ease the anxiety but in a positive way. Don’t allow anxiety to have power in the friendship just be a friend.