Five Ways to Forgive and Avoid Holding Grudges

Five Ways to Forgive and Avoid Holding Grudges

Five Ways to Forgive and Avoid Holding Grudges

Are you tired of the negative thoughts that creep into your mind when you consider the pain others have caused you?  Do you want to let go of issues that no longer serve you?  When you hold grudges and avoid confrontation or forgiveness, you will start to realize that negative thoughts take up too much space in your mind.  As a counselor in Orlando, we are here to help you learn to let go.  Forgiveness may be difficult, but it can allow you to let go of things that no longer have a positive impact on your life.  These are a few ways that you can forgive and avoid holding grudges.

Acknowledge the Pain and Hurt

It is painful when your friends or family hurt you.  This may cause you to harbor resentment or anger that can also last a long time, especially if the conflict lacks any type of resolution.  Your pain is real, and it should be acknowledged.  However, you do not want to let your painful feelings take over your life and your mindset.  Find ways to express your pain, like writing in a journal or going to the gym, and then move forward.

Forgive, But Don’t Condone

Forgiveness does not mean that you also condone the behaviors that caused you pain.  Forgiving another person simply allows you to let go and move forward with your life.  Otherwise, you may feel like your relationship with that individual is on pause.  Forgiveness is actually a gift that you give yourself, not the other person.  It allows you to accept the wrong and move forward with the rest of your life.

Consider the Benefits

Harboring a grudge takes up space in your mind that can be used for something more productive, happy, or just better for your life.  When you let go of your grudges, you can have the peace of mind and a regained personal energy that allows you to focus on other things that better serve your life.  

Change the Topic

When you are in a social situation with others, they may be likely to ask you about your conflict or continue to talk about the pain that you’ve felt.  Change the conversation by talking about different topics, asking questions about other situations, or just letting people know that you are moving on.  Do not dwell on the conversation, as this can cause you to stay frozen in the conflict.

Let Go

Truly letting go requires you to acknowledge everything that happened and truly feel at peace with it.  This means that you have worked through your emotions and came to sense of clarity about the situation.  It may also mean that you have taken the time to recognize the other perspective and consider different angles.  Letting go means that you will no longer fixate on these issues and you will be better for it.

These are a few of the ways that you can forgive others and avoid holding grudges that can cause long-term pain and anguish in your life.  When you are bitter, sad, or angry about something that happened, you may harbor negative emotions.  To work on letting go, contact our counselor in Orlando and allow forgiveness into your life today.

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Heather Oller

Heather Oller is a licensed Orlando therapist at Orlando Thrive Therapy, Coaching & Counseling who specializes in counseling Orlando couples, individuals, and families who are seeking changes in their lives. She has been a mental health professional for over 17 years and is a practicing Orlando counselor that specializes in conflict resolution for couples. You can contact her for an appointment or call 407-592-8997 for more information.