Dealing with an Avoidant Partner

Dealing with an Avoidant Partner

Dealing with an Avoidant Partner

A lot of people are frustrated and anxious in their relationships because their partners are emotionally absent and avoid any form of emotional connection. Regardless of how frustrating this is, all of the blame should not be poured on the avoidant partner. A relationship is the product of two people with different personalities and to understand an avoidant partner; it needs to be examined from the perspective of both partners. Let’s identify some avoidant behaviors that people exhibit.

  • Ignoring phone calls, emails or texts
  • Forgetting about special dates, events or plans
  • Refusing to express love or saying “I love you.”
  • Never talking about plans and commitment
  • Never interested in intimacy or close-contact for a long time.

Showing behaviors like these can be quite frustrating for the other person in the relationship and can make them start second-guessing about what they are doing right or wrong in the relationship. Arguments will come up occasionally where one partner will continuously accuse the other of not loving them enough or at all. This is the point where the strength of the relationship is tested and there might be a need to go for couples’ therapy in Orlando. With avoidance in one partner comes avoidance panic in the other which is the thought or fear that the avoidant partner is no longer interested in the relationship.

Dealing with an Avoidant Partner

Check if you in any way contributed to the avoidant behavior that your partner is exhibiting. Typically, most people who end up with avoidant partners have at a time in their lives had an essential person in their life unavailable. So, when they eventually meet an avoidant partner, they subconsciously make it a mission to make the person present, committed and attentive. Often, this ends up in a wild goose chase and one partner keeps chasing someone who is not available and is not ready to be.

So, if you are with an avoidant person, you need to evaluate how you deal with them. Blowing up their phone several times every minute will not make things better. Or sending them messages about how much you are hurting due to their unavailability. This will make your partner distance themselves the more. So what do you do then?

Accept your partner and instead of insisting on getting what you want – which could be long phone conversations, focus on getting what you need – which may be someone to tell you “I love you” or someone who keeps essential plans in mind. If your avoidant partner, however, does not make any efforts to improve the state of things, it is okay to bring the relationship to an end. If you would like to keep fighting, going for couples’ therapy in Orlando can help, and Orlando Thrive Therapy is your best bet. For a free consultation, call 407 592 8997 or send us an email to book a session.

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(407) 592-8997

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Heather Oller

Heather Oller is the owner and founder of Orlando Thrive Therapy, Coaching, and Counseling. She is a licensed counselor and a family mediator who has over 23 years of dedicated work as a professional in the mental health field. Through her company's mission, she continues to pave the way for future therapists, and their clients, who want a higher quality of life....and who want to thrive, rather than just survive. You can contact Orlando Thrive Therapy at (407) 592-8997 for more information.