A lot of people are frustrated and anxious in their relationships because their partners are emotionally absent and avoid any form of emotional connection. Regardless of how frustrating this is, all of the blame should not be poured on the avoidant partner. A relationship is the product of two people with different personalities and to understand an avoidant partner; it needs to be examined from the perspective of both partners. Let’s identify some avoidant behaviors that people exhibit.
Showing behaviors like these can be quite frustrating for the other person in the relationship and can make them start second-guessing about what they are doing right or wrong in the relationship. Arguments will come up occasionally where one partner will continuously accuse the other of not loving them enough or at all. This is the point where the strength of the relationship is tested and there might be a need to go for couples’ therapy in Orlando. With avoidance in one partner comes avoidance panic in the other which is the thought or fear that the avoidant partner is no longer interested in the relationship.
Check if you in any way contributed to the avoidant behavior that your partner is exhibiting. Typically, most people who end up with avoidant partners have at a time in their lives had an essential person in their life unavailable. So, when they eventually meet an avoidant partner, they subconsciously make it a mission to make the person present, committed and attentive. Often, this ends up in a wild goose chase and one partner keeps chasing someone who is not available and is not ready to be.
So, if you are with an avoidant person, you need to evaluate how you deal with them. Blowing up their phone several times every minute will not make things better. Or sending them messages about how much you are hurting due to their unavailability. This will make your partner distance themselves the more. So what do you do then?
Accept your partner and instead of insisting on getting what you want – which could be long phone conversations, focus on getting what you need – which may be someone to tell you “I love you” or someone who keeps essential plans in mind. If your avoidant partner, however, does not make any efforts to improve the state of things, it is okay to bring the relationship to an end. If you would like to keep fighting, going for couples’ therapy in Orlando can help, and Orlando Thrive Therapy is your best bet. For a free consultation, call 407 592 8997 or send us an email to book a session.
Heather Oller is a licensed Orlando therapist at Orlando Thrive Therapy, Coaching & Counseling who specializes in counseling Orlando couples, individuals, and families who are seeking changes in their lives. She has been a mental health professional for over 17 years and is a practicing Orlando counselor that specializes in conflict resolution for couples. You can contact her for an appointment or call 407-592-8997 for more information.