Orlando Marriage Therapist Marriage Expert Gives Five Most Important Marriage Tips. Marriage is an exciting commitment between two people. Perhaps you’ve been living together for a while. There may not even be much that has changed since you tied knot except now you are officially married. Most people who decide to marry have put a lot of planning into the ceremony and the decision to commit to one another. How much planning goes into what comes next? Do people who marry know what it really takes to make things last? There are multiple common reasons that marriages don’t work out, but why?
Many married couples go through highs and lows, balancing work and life quite well. Almost effortlessly. Some never seem to lose that friendship and fun they had in the beginning. You may ask yourself, “How do they make it look so easy?” You see married couples who just seem to really get it and you say, “What’s their secret?” Maybe you’ve had your own issues in marriage and are searching for the answers to make marriage better. So, let’s think about what’s been happening in your own marriage;
While almost all married people start with high expectations of having the perfect relationship, things don’t always end up that way. Think about the divorce statistics. The USA still rates the highest in divorce with an astonishing 53%. This is despite all the interventions we have access to and the best of intentions. Remember that none of those people got married to end up divorced. So what then leads couples to divorce when others remain happily married?
If you or a couple you know want to start enjoying a happier marriage, better intimacy, positive communication, etc., here are five most important marriage tips for a happier marriage:
Many people are completely unaware about what positive communication actually looks like. It’s something a marriage therapist loves to teach a couple and will help you listen better, empathize more, and stop defensiveness. Taking off the filters that you have placed on your ears is the best way to begin any conversations. Many times couples need marital advice or a marriage therapist expert to break bad habits and begin new ways of healthy communication again.
If you aren’t on the same page about finances, this can lead to issues down the road. Is one of you a spender and the other a saver? How do household expenses get split? How do you save for vacations, large expenses, or future retirement? Finances can make or break a couple and shouldn’t be taken lightly. You should discuss your debts prior to marriage, develop mutual plans to pay off or save for things, and also plan for your future financial needs too. For example, now that there are two of you, are you contributing enough in 401k’s, or saving enough for future health concerns. Have you ensured ways that expenses will be covered at home if your household income is reduced to one again? And are you respecting each other’s financial needs and not being secretive about spending or increasing debt without telling the other spouse?
Talk about responsibilities regularly and make adjustments as needed. Try to be flexible and communicate if you need help with a task or household chore. If you don’t talk and make adjustments, you increase your chances of building resentment and anger. Be willing to help each other and offer support when needed. Remember that marriage is a partnership and requires the participation of both people for it to work well.
Children are busy little creatures. They test boundaries, challenge sleep schedules, and require constant attention. People who enter into marriage and decide to have children, should discuss their parenting philosophies. Talk about how they were raised. What didn’t they like? What do they wish they had more of? They should also discuss how to address discipline and communicate about issues that come up along the way. If you enter into a marriage where your spouse has children, discuss your new role as a step parent and what your expectations will be. Be careful not to undermine each other, talk negatively about the other, or disrespect each other in front of the children. If you feel you aren’t on the same parenting page and can’t get their together, reach out to an Orlando marriage therapist expert for help.
But don’t just have it because you have to. Talk about why it’s not happening as frequently or what’s been missing. Remember sex and intimacy are two different things. They are both equally as important. If your physical and emotional needs aren’t being met, discuss that with your partner. Tell them what you need more of or what you want. Have you ever taken the 5 Love Languages test? It’s a great test to help you figure out the ways you feel love, give love, and want to receive love. Share your answers! But don’t stop there! Use the information you learned and make it work for you. Get back the passion, romance, and intimacy in your marriage.
More free tips can be found at https://www.orlandothrivetherapy.com. The counseling office is located near downtown Orlando.
Heather Oller is a licensed Orlando therapist at Orlando Thrive Therapy, Coaching & Counseling who specializes in counseling Orlando couples, individuals, and families who are seeking changes in their lives. She has been a mental health professional for over 17 years and is a practicing Orlando counselor that specializes in conflict resolution for couples. You can contact her for an appointment or call 407-592-8997 for more information.