Negative Emotions How To Let Them Go

Negative Emotions

How To Let Them Go

Negative Emotions

Individual Counseling Orlando
Negative Emotions

Having a hard time letting them go?

Individual counseling Orlando for adults provides a safe place to talk about difficult things. Why is it so hard for people to talk aboit or handle some feelings? Why do you struggle with being vulnerable or have a hard time expressing emotion positively?

Suppression is a defense mechanism many people use. The definition of suppression is to keep things hidden within. It requires a whole lot of energy to keep something suppressed. Especially negative emotions. Imagine a tea kettle suppressing its heat for water. Eventually the steam begins to escape and the whistle starts to blow. Is that how you feel when you hold things in for awhile? Do you eventually lose your top and start to blow up at even the smallest things? How do we prevent this from happening?

  • The first thing to do is recognize that you have a hard time expressing feelings or emotions when things are happening to you. Maybe you have been taught from a young age that talking about things is not going to help anything or that when you do talk about things, no one listens.

Individual counseling Orlando helps shine a light on negative thought patterns. A faulty belief system might be what is causing you to suppress your feelings and avoid what you consider confrontation. Many times people are raised in an environment where their feelings were not validated or when they did bring something up, this caused conflict in the household. If you have the belief that discussing anything important or emotional causes confrontation or conflict, then you are doing yourself an injustice. You are telling yourself that suppressing things is the best way of handling life and that could be causing you the issues you’ve been having in relationships.

  • Second, ask yourself where your filter originated. Take a look at your life and where you came from. Are you carrying trauma from your past with you today and using that lens in your relationships or experiences today? If so, my advice is that you reach out to a professional and find ways to wipe the slate clean. You are worth more than the sum of where you came from and if you are using negative beliefs to manage healthy relationships you have now, you may continue to find that you keep running into roadblocks.

Re-examine your filter

Individual counseling Orlando provides objective feedback to a problem. It will help you look at situations through a different angle. It helps to see if what you are perceiving about a situation is actually reality.

You can also start by asking someone if what you heard them say is what they actually said. Sounds easy enough, but this is a tough one for some people. Here’s an example: Your wife says to you, “You forgot to call me today when you said you would.” Do you hear what she actually said or do you hear something like this,”You just don’t care about me and you never do anything right?” Lets assume for arguments sake that your wife actually did say the former and not the later.

Often what we hear people say is filtered through a sum of our own life experiences and if we don’t take time to inspect the filter or adjust it we can react to situations harshly. We can suppress and harbor negative emotions based on our perceptions of events rather than on reality. Instead of stewing and brewing, or reacting and walking away, ask the question, “I heard you say I am worthless. Is that what you said?” And hopefully the response you get is, “Absolutely not. I was just looking forward to hearing from you.”

  • Thirdly, communicate with your partner what it is you find after your self-reflection. Why do you think you have been suppressing things or reacting in ways you aren’t proud of? Tell them what your fears are about talking things out or expressing your thoughts. Give them the explanation, but don’t make excuses or use this information as a way to avoid making behavioral changes and continuing to gain awareness. If your goal is to have healthy, thriving, open relationships with people, then you need to keep being honest with yourself, and them, and constantly be adjusting your filter.

It takes a lot of physical and mental energy to hold a force inside. The same thing that happens to the boiling pot could be happening to you. When you reach your threshold and you start to boil over, how does this come out for you? Do you yell or throw a fit over stupid things? Do you do something self sabotaging to avoid negative emotions such as use substances, over eat or over spend? Do you withhold affection from your partner or isolate yourself, maybe give a cold shoulder? The energy you are spending to find ways to suppress what your negative emotions is more time consuming, emotionally draining and physically harmful to you then what would actually happen if you faced the issue head on. Reach out for help to find better ways of handling your relationships, and creating a better relationship with yourself too.

Orlando Thrive Therapy

Orlando Counseling, Coaching, and Conflict Resolution

Heather Oller, Licensed Mental Health Counselor

118 Pasadena Pl, Orlando, FL 32803
(407) 592-8997

Rise above any circumstance, for GROWTH, EMPOWERMENT, and better QUALITY of life!
Call today for more information. Follow Orlando Thrive on Facebook or Instagram.

(407) 592-8997

216 Pasadena Pl
Orlando, Florida 32803
Heather Oller

Heather Oller is the owner and founder of Orlando Thrive Therapy, Coaching, and Counseling. She is a licensed counselor and a family mediator who has over 23 years of dedicated work as a professional in the mental health field. Through her company's mission, she continues to pave the way for future therapists, and their clients, who want a higher quality of life....and who want to thrive, rather than just survive. You can contact Orlando Thrive Therapy at (407) 592-8997 for more information.