Individual counseling Orlando for adults provides a safe place to talk about difficult things. Why is it so hard for people to talk aboit or handle some feelings? Why do you struggle with being vulnerable or have a hard time expressing emotion positively?
Suppression is a defense mechanism many people use. The definition of suppression is to keep things hidden within. It requires a whole lot of energy to keep something suppressed. Especially negative emotions. Imagine a tea kettle suppressing its heat for water. Eventually the steam begins to escape and the whistle starts to blow. Is that how you feel when you hold things in for awhile? Do you eventually lose your top and start to blow up at even the smallest things? How do we prevent this from happening?
Individual counseling Orlando helps shine a light on negative thought patterns. A faulty belief system might be what is causing you to suppress your feelings and avoid what you consider confrontation. Many times people are raised in an environment where their feelings were not validated or when they did bring something up, this caused conflict in the household. If you have the belief that discussing anything important or emotional causes confrontation or conflict, then you are doing yourself an injustice. You are telling yourself that suppressing things is the best way of handling life and that could be causing you the issues you’ve been having in relationships.
Individual counseling Orlando provides objective feedback to a problem. It will help you look at situations through a different angle. It helps to see if what you are perceiving about a situation is actually reality.
You can also start by asking someone if what you heard them say is what they actually said. Sounds easy enough, but this is a tough one for some people. Here’s an example: Your wife says to you, “You forgot to call me today when you said you would.” Do you hear what she actually said or do you hear something like this,”You just don’t care about me and you never do anything right?” Lets assume for arguments sake that your wife actually did say the former and not the later.
Often what we hear people say is filtered through a sum of our own life experiences and if we don’t take time to inspect the filter or adjust it we can react to situations harshly. We can suppress and harbor negative emotions based on our perceptions of events rather than on reality. Instead of stewing and brewing, or reacting and walking away, ask the question, “I heard you say I am worthless. Is that what you said?” And hopefully the response you get is, “Absolutely not. I was just looking forward to hearing from you.”
It takes a lot of physical and mental energy to hold a force inside. The same thing that happens to the boiling pot could be happening to you. When you reach your threshold and you start to boil over, how does this come out for you? Do you yell or throw a fit over stupid things? Do you do something self sabotaging to avoid negative emotions such as use substances, over eat or over spend? Do you withhold affection from your partner or isolate yourself, maybe give a cold shoulder? The energy you are spending to find ways to suppress what your negative emotions is more time consuming, emotionally draining and physically harmful to you then what would actually happen if you faced the issue head on. Reach out for help to find better ways of handling your relationships, and creating a better relationship with yourself too.
Heather Oller is a licensed Orlando therapist at Orlando Thrive Therapy, Coaching & Counseling who specializes in counseling Orlando couples, individuals, and families who are seeking changes in their lives. She has been a mental health professional for over 17 years and is a practicing Orlando counselor that specializes in conflict resolution for couples. You can contact her for an appointment or call 407-592-8997 for more information.