Couples counseling Orlando helps couples identify core issues that are impacting the relationship negatively. Often couples find that one core issue is the loss of independence in the relationship. Finding ways to preserve your sense of identity and self is important for the health of the relationship as a whole.
What often happens is that people in relationships tend to stop making time for themselves to just be alone. Couples counseling Orlando discusses crucial alone time is to self care. Alone time allows you to be uniquely you without being a spouse, a parent, a friend, or fulfilling any other major role you have in your life.
Making alone time for yourself means creating a space where only you get to exist. When you have alone time, do you feel guilty? How do you practice self care without guilt? How do find the time for you without compromising the time you need to nourish your relationship too?
Self care comes in many forms. It relates to how you take care of your personal needs. We all have unique needs and nurturing those things about ourselves is what brings us into any relationship as healthier, complete human beings ready for love. Being dependent on another person for your happiness or enjoyment will only leave you feeling frustrated or sad. You will lose sight of your true self and begin to resent the other person even though it’s not their fault that you have not maintained your own interests or made time for you.
Reconnect with friends or people you used to see outside of your relationship. Invite them to dinner and focus on what’s been happening with them or talk about things you would like to start doing. Avoid the temptation to talk about your relationship or spouse. Remember this is about reconnecting with you and nurturing you without being a couple.
Truly alone. Is the silence deafening? Do you feel anxiety without distractions? This might mean you have a little work to do on finding your way back to you again. Remember the things you enjoyed once before. Was it reading? Cleaning or organizing? Was it playing basketball or following sports center for 24 hours straight? It’s nice that you might miss your partner but that is what makes this time so important. It gives you the opportunity to notice the absence of the other person and to embrace your re-connection (no matter how short the time apart is).
Evaluate the areas of your life that you feel you have missed by being a part of a couple. Have an honest conversation with your significant other about what you want to get back in your life. Make sure to remember this isn’t about replacing time with your boyfriend/wife/girlfriend/husband/lover, it is about finding the balance between your amazing life with them and your relationship with yourself.
Take a minute to reflect on where you are after reading this. Although this article is directed to couples and finding your alone time, it applies to anyone who has found themselves lacking in alone time.
Maybe you’ve been spending too much time at work or with friends and you need to recharge. Maybe you have been taking care of a family member who is sick and you have been feeling hopeless or sad. These tips help for anyone that has gotten a little too far from themselves.
You are the most important person to have a relationship with in life. If you have been struggling to make time to nurture you, invest in you, and celebrate the unique parts of you, then reach out to a counselor who can help you create good boundaries, and remember why you matter again.
Heather Oller is a licensed Orlando therapist at Orlando Thrive Therapy, Coaching & Counseling who specializes in counseling Orlando couples, individuals, and families who are seeking changes in their lives. She has been a mental health professional for over 17 years and is a practicing Orlando counselor that specializes in conflict resolution for couples. You can contact her for an appointment or call 407-592-8997 for more information.